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Vblood
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Post subject: Vampire with a master?
 Posted: Aug 18, 2006 - 05:22 PM
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New Member
Joined: Aug 18, 2006
Posts: 16
Status: Offline
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I have been a Vampire for around five to six years now. (Am currently at age sixteen)
I have a story I’d like to share on how I came to be a Vampire, or at least…how I believe I did. There are some parts that I would like some answers/ideas about if at all possible.
I’ll start off with my before self:
I used to be scared of the very idea of ‘Vampires’, werewolf’s, witch’s, you name it. I was afraid of it. (This clearly being a time before I knew truth from myth) I couldn’t even walk through a graveyard in the daytime was how bad I was.
Then, one day out of the blue it all stopped. I wasn’t afraid of Vampires, graveyards or any of it. I was comfortable with the idea and for some reason just knew these facts about Vampires that I couldn’t have possibly known or read in a book. (Example a: A Vampire can survive in the sunlight, garlic or a cross will not protect you from a Vampire and so on plus more.)
I was never really into meat. Sure I would eat chicken and hamburgers and all that, but I simply REFUSED to eat steak. Wouldn’t touch it.
But suddenly out of the blue I started liking and wanting to eat steak like crazy. (VERY rare steak) I felt like a demonic monster of some kind, it was like something was breathing and pulsing through my veins, crawling through my skin. I would see somebody’s wrist with the blue-ish/green veins in a fine line beneath the skin; I would see a vein bulge in someone’s neck and I would literally have to bite my tongue to contain myself. It honestly seemed the only thing that freed me from my bloodlust was when I had either rare steak or VERY juicy/runny meat.
I also started having weird dreams of this weird dark male shadow (somehow I knew he was a Vampire) and I always felt/feel oddly connected to him. Like, we have some kind of blood-bound thing going on. (Best way I can think of to describe it) In my brain when thinking of a name for this figure my brain just automatically wants me to call him ‘Master’.
Everything I know about Vampires I know from him. It’s not like he physically told me because to my knowledge I’ve never actually physically met him. But me being a Vampire as well as all my knowledge and questions seemed to just be answered. Sometimes it seems like I can feel him inside me (not meant to be taken sexually) like, pulsing through my body.
I never get very close to guys. Sure, I have guy friends but for some reasons there’s this wall there something that just blocks them off for me. I don’t even get celebrity crushes. Something in me just rejects guys. (not romantic male/female relationships but just in general) And I kind of have a theory that he and I both know where my loyalties lie.
I was talking to a Vampire I met online and was asking if that was even possible. She said since I’ve never been physically touched by him he must be not only very old, but also very strong but that my theory seems logical.
I know it’s hard to believe and I know that. Trust me if I was making any of this up I wouldn’t be on this website.
I’ve heard few tales of Vampires being connected to the person who turned them/their master, but I have heard of it.
However I have never heard of it with modern day Vampires and have never heard of ANY modern day Vampires that have even the slightest connection to the Vampire that turned them/Master. I would really like to know what you all think and what it might mean. Anything helps. Thank you.
Nice meeting you all,
- Vblood
(female by the way)
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BeautifulDowngrade
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 - 05:51 PM
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Administrator
Joined: Nov 23, 2005
Posts: 768
Location: Myrtle Creek, Oregon.
Status: Offline
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| Quote: | | I’ve heard few tales of Vampires being connected to the person who turned them/their master, but I have heard of it. |
I have a huge problem with this statement as I believe you can not be turned. Its something you are born with. You awaken into your "true nature." so to say.
Do you think you could possibly elaborate a bit more on this /Vampire/ who visits you? It could be me being brain-dead but I am a bit confused. |
_________________
Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind.
-Bob Marley
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Sybilla
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 - 05:53 PM
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Administrator
Joined: Apr 04, 2004
Posts: 2743
Location: behind you
Status: Offline
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First I understand this is a delicate time in your life due to your age. But it would be good for you to read back through the guidelines here at Darkness Embraced. There are some things that just don't sit well. One of those is the concept of being 'turned'. That's not something that we hold a belief in here. Vampyrism is a condition where we're unable to maintain our energy levels as normal people do and so are required to take it more often.
We also can't go into discussion of blood with minors here on DE. Even with adults, deep discussion is only allowed in the Vampire Innersanctum. I'm not trying to brush off all you have posted by any means. But I don't want you to be disillusioined when others can't hold to your beliefs here. There's no Master vampyres here at DE or anywhere in the real world. If you are dreaming of one, that's one thing. But I can't sit here and tell you that you were turned when that is based in myth, at least in our opinion.
I hope you understand I'm not trying to be harsh at all with you. It's just we're not a site that adheres to mythological vampires being real. Our's is a different way of living that has nothing to do with anyone turning us..but please read through the articles here. I think they may help you understand more what we believe here. |
_________________
"true as the dial to the sun, though it be not shined upon"
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Eridani
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 - 06:45 PM
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 13, 2006
Posts: 33
Location: Bucharest Romania
Status: Offline
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"Trust me if I was making any of this up I wouldn’t be on this website."
You say.....I tend to believe...actually I know for a fact that it's the other way around . You are here because you wish to be a vampire(trust me a lot of people do)and maybe you believe that you will find one here ......(I don't think so)................
" The beast said to me:
-Why are you searching for me?I'm nowhere to be found
-Then why am I talking to you now?
-Because your sleeping . "
Point being..... You will get over this sooner or later just remember to keep an open mind . |
_________________
And I was thinking to myself
This could be heaven or this could be hell
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dyscrasia
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 - 07:10 PM
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Member
Joined: May 24, 2005
Posts: 116
Location: Virginia
Status: Offline
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It seems to me that you never met this "master" so honestly I don't think you were turned into a vampire. If you are at all a vampire I believe its in your blood from the day your born. I can't tell you what that dark figure is that you call your master but I don't think it has anything to do with you becoming a vampire. Maybe its a spiritual guide... I don't know I never studied any of that but I know some people here on DE has.
You could have just gone through an awakening. The blood lust you describe could be mistaken for the need for energy. I'm not sure what a sanguine goes through during their awakening because I am a psychic vampire if there is any difference in the awakening. I can tell you that like Sybilla said, we believe true vampires just can't obtain energy. So we need to feed from either psychic feeding or blood letting to get the prana that we lack. Otherwise we go through some withdrawals I guess you can say. Things like frequent headaches/migraines, personally I lose my appetite for food, and depression will happen if we don't feed. Those are just general symptoms most people have some different reactions.
I do have a splitting headache right now and I'm not feeling up to par so take my information lightly and I'd wait for someone else to maybe confirm it or something  . Just keep your head clear and open to all possibilities. |
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damagedroses
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 - 07:33 PM
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Senior Member
Joined: Feb 06, 2006
Posts: 203
Location: TX
Status: Offline
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I'm with BD, could you possibly elaborate on this Shadow....
I also agree with what everyone else has said...I ask this and I do not mean to be rude but are you an RPG-er? |
_________________
----Over thoughts of tarnished hope----
Rebecca
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Vblood
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 - 08:56 PM
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New Member
Joined: Aug 18, 2006
Posts: 16
Status: Offline
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I kind of figured this would happen...
I figured I was unclear. To be honest I'm not terribly convinced of the 'turning' myself. I just figured MAYBE it was possible, or maybe this 'figure' or whatever might have somehow helped with my awakening so to speak(?)
I do not do role playing, I do not go on Gaia or any of it.
I'm sorry what I said rubbed people the wrong way. I've never really brought this before anyone so it's not exactly like I'm used to explaining it. (Nor am I good at explaining things like this anyway)
As far as the dark figure goes, I don't know what to tell you except what I feel. I mean, who knows maybe it's just a dream that re-appears and I'm reading WAY too much into it. That's why I asked for advice to begin with.
I understand your being skeptical and I also understand that I wasn't clear (at all).
I honestly didn't come here to play jokes. I know that's probably hard for a lot of you to believe but it's the truth.
I knew suggesting 'being turned' or whatever was probably a bad idea to begin with. ( probably a bad idea to suggest anything you don't believe in yourself I guess) But my experience seems to be so much different than most local Vampires I know, I thought it might if nothing else be worth bringing up just to get that thought out of my head.
Again, sorry if this post angered some people. I Respect all your opinions and I take them to heart. But please try and understand where I'm coming from here. Thank you. |
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Nyxx
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 - 09:11 PM
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New Member
Joined: Aug 16, 2006
Posts: 11
Location: NJ, USA
Status: Offline
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| I can understand where your coming from, I had a somewhat similar experience during my awakening period, although I never felt as though the shadowy figure was my "master"... In years since, I've come to the conclusion that it was my own masculine aspect (as I'm female), serving to guide me through my period of transition. Though I felt very connected to it early on, I sensed it less and less as I developed, until I realized it was basically just a part of me. Hope this helps. |
_________________
www.myspace.com/strangeomens
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Ratt
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 - 09:18 PM
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Senior Member
Joined: Jan 02, 2005
Posts: 239
Location: a Dark Place
Status: Offline
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Now, this young person comes along, and admittedly uses some terminology which "upsets" some of the members, then all of a sudden we get
"You are here because you wish to be a vampire(trust me a lot of people do)and maybe you believe that you will find one here ......(I don't think so)............"
I won't speak for anyone else, but, seeing that Eridani seems to know, I guess just about everyone here on DE, I assume he's speaking for everyone now....
If I'm not mistaken, it says "new member" over the image....
Please don't assume to speak for those whom you do not know.
Although one person's definition of vampyre here may not be yours,
it is NOT your place to speak on someone else's behalf.
ESPECIALLY MINE.
Sorry folks... it must be late, I've had enough for today.
be well, brightest blessings
(even you Eridani)
Mr. Ratt |
_________________
"it's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got"
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BeautifulDowngrade
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 - 09:24 PM
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Administrator
Joined: Nov 23, 2005
Posts: 768
Location: Myrtle Creek, Oregon.
Status: Offline
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| Ratt wrote: |
Please don't assume to speak for those whom you do not know.
Although one person's definition of vampyre here may not be yours,
it is NOT your place to speak on someone else's behalf.
ESPECIALLY MINE.
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Honestly my day hasnt been the best and my mind is currently addled so I have been avoiding speaking to much. (typing? Hehe)
But darling Mr. Ratt here has some words I couldnt help but sigh softly and nod along with. |
_________________
Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind.
-Bob Marley
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Sybilla
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 - 11:00 PM
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Administrator
Joined: Apr 04, 2004
Posts: 2743
Location: behind you
Status: Offline
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Vblood, I don't think anyone is angry. Many of us have spent a lot of years studying the condition of vampyrism and that's no easy thing to do. It's not like there's an encylopedia devoted to us ~smiles~....don't feel bad. I think it's good you are open minded enough to learn along with us. None of us have all the answers, not even those of us who are older.
I think Eridani's words may have come out wrong. I don't really know if what was typed was intended. Obviously 'we' believe there are vampyres here....on a vampyre site...and no one can judge another's condition. Only they can know for sure what they are, vampyric or not.
I hope you stay to read some of the articles and forum posts, Vblood. Turning is just a subject that's pretty unpopular considering we see the condition as energy deficiency, though with other things thown in. Some will be empathic, most of us are highly sensitive to energy and it manifests in many other ways. But we don't feel we can be turned. There's nothing in the blood itself that's ever been found that could show that as possible. |
_________________
"true as the dial to the sun, though it be not shined upon"
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Daemo
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 19, 2006 - 04:05 AM
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Posting Stockholder
Joined: Sep 21, 2005
Posts: 681
Location: Oz
Status: Offline
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Firstly, Hello and welcome to DE, Vblood.
Whenever I hear young members describing unusual cravings for meat, and we do hear it reguarly here, the first thing I think of is possible iron deficiency. You're young, female; you should be seeing a doctor reguarly for general checkups as well as things like iron levels, bone density, and all that other stuff. You're body's not silly, it knows how to stimulate you into eating things it needs, like say, protein or iron. So quite often cravings such as this can be a result of poor diet. See your doctor. 
As for your phantom stranger, I like Nyxx's suggestion. I think a lot of people experience the polarity of their sexuality/gender/yin-yang and learn to embrace it, I know I had to learn and embrace my feminine (yin) during my awakening. Also, you are at an age where many would say a transformation of your pyschic being and its intergration with the physical and mental is at its peak. Your abilities will 'stretch' themselves as they 'awaken', and many believe that sometimes a result is a manifestation of some sort. Because you are creating it yourself automatically when conditions are right it may seem as though it is following, or 'haunting' you. A similar idea is sometimes used to explain poltergeist.
So I do believe that your phantom may well be your own manifestation, but I'm not convinced that this is a sign of, or even a symptom directly linked to vampyrism. But there is heaps of information right here now at your fingertips (try the search button at the top of the page!), and seeing as you have been a vampire yourself for some years I hope we hear more about your own experiences.
 |
_________________
"Don't wanna walk away, I couldn't anyway
You fill my empty day, you make me wanna stay because
You're f#cken awesome..." - Spiderbait
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xXgorlockeXx
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 19, 2006 - 05:37 AM
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Posting Stockholder
Joined: Feb 16, 2005
Posts: 855
Location: Lubbock, Texas
Status: Offline
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Well, Daemo got to this one before I did... Which I guess is fitting, I'm not a vampire, after all. 
I agree that the "shadow" is likely an ethric manifestation of yourself, perhaps in a masculine form or of something you "wish to be". Often times we will dream of or fantasize of a being which is all that we truly seek to become, such as being stronger or more intelligent, or even more powerful. Following along that concept, the "ethric self" so to speak will often mimic this psychological behaviour.
Daemo's point on food is quite a good point to take into consideration. The human biology, despite our personal habits and behaviours, knows what it needs to maintain itself. More often than not a sudden urge for a certain food is not merely for taste, but because the body knows it needs what is in the foods you are craving.
Eridani's post, I think, was both mistaken and misconstrued. I think Eridani meant to say that Vblood may be seeking "real mythical vampires". Not necessarily to claim that there are no vampires here. I do think Eridani needs to consider that flaming is not always the best manner in which to handle new members who may be confused or mislead. Often enough if you lead them in the right direction they'll learn the truths, without having to have a slap across the face. |
_________________
-+- angel in our pocket -+- devil by our side -+-
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Eridani
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 19, 2006 - 06:57 AM
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 13, 2006
Posts: 33
Location: Bucharest Romania
Status: Offline
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Hey again Vblood !!! I'm not gonna say that I am sorry for what I said but I must admit that I was maybe a little bit too much. So I'm just gonna say that I am sorry for the way I said it .
As for the rest of you ........I know it may cost me my membership.....
But what in God's name is wrong with you ? Instead of trying to help this young girl whom I am sure is the victim of late night television, you actually encourage her to believe in this..........
Are you really searching for occult knowledge or do you just like f...ing around with people's minds? Let's not forget that by doing this you are ruining the moral value of occultism .
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity"
I'm sure that Albert Einstein invented the time machine , otherwise
he wouldn't have meet you guys and had never come up with such a brilliant phrase.
As for you dear Vblood try to let go of this "dark side of you" it will only do you wrong . Being an outcast is very hard . And another piece of advice always try to imagine what people think regarding what you do or what you say.....is the first step you must take to have full control of your self and the simpleminded ones that surround you....Be well!!!! |
_________________
And I was thinking to myself
This could be heaven or this could be hell
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xXgorlockeXx
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 19, 2006 - 07:18 AM
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Posting Stockholder
Joined: Feb 16, 2005
Posts: 855
Location: Lubbock, Texas
Status: Offline
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Eridani, you lack all pretense to even start along the lines that you are. For one, this community is not yours, and you are a new member here, you are in our home, and you've no right to tell us how to keep our home. We obviously have a good insight into how we do things, and how we like things to be done. For you to come here and disrespect us as you have just done is a disgrace unto yourself.
As for stupidity, it takes more than quotes from philosophical figures to prove yourself to be intellectually apt in judging the rest of us. Einstein would likely have been insulted that you used his quotes as a way to insult others.
As for the rest... We are here to give answers to questions, and guidance to those who seek it. We are not here to tell someone they are ignorant or stupid for being less experienced than us. VBlood may not have had the years to study as we have, or to experience life and understand the differences between the likely and unlikely stories. That does not give us the right to tell her what she should believe. She is young, and we have no right to make her old. Allow her to grow up on her own and do not judge us for allowing her that simple piece of life. Also, do not consider that the fall of occultism is due to a young girl's experiences in an online community. You simplify the Occult Community to a diminutive size.
Darkness Embraced is not here to judge those who come and go in the entirety of the Occult Community. There will always be those who believe differently than you, and them believing different does not make them a target of a flame. Not all who lack knowledge are idiots.
Lastly, you have no right to speak for the rest of the Occult Community or Society. You hold no place there above or beyond any of us. Get off of your over-egotistical high horse and remind yourself what it means to be humble.
Note, there is no intention of anger or hatred in this, merely my way of informing you of your current position according to my own personal perceptions. Unless, of course, my perceptions aren't good enough for you either. |
_________________
-+- angel in our pocket -+- devil by our side -+-
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Sybilla
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 19, 2006 - 10:05 AM
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Administrator
Joined: Apr 04, 2004
Posts: 2743
Location: behind you
Status: Offline
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| Eridani, I would take gorlocke's advice. We do not flame here. Please change your tone to other members. Vblood is learning like the rest of us. |
_________________
"true as the dial to the sun, though it be not shined upon"
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Allin
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 19, 2006 - 01:48 PM
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Administrator
Joined: Aug 14, 2005
Posts: 875
Location: New England, USA
Status: Offline
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| Ratt wrote: |
If I'm not mistaken, it says "new member" over the image....
Please don't assume to speak for those whom you do not know.
Although one person's definition of vampyre here may not be yours,
it is NOT your place to speak on someone else's behalf.
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Vblood, In my own time here amongst the other family members of Darkness Embraced, I've come to respect and acknowledge the presence of many similarities of thought and belief. I'm as well confident that there are many members who carry many differences in belief from each other. While in my own mind, these character traits stand out as one of the great strengths of this place, I do expect that some of the differences in belief sometimes can cause some friction. In usual manner though, the mutual respect we all share between each other, almost always outweighs some passionate belief that certainly is worth debating over. Belief systems are like this I think.
When I came here, I had long held beliefs about my own condition for a long time, but quickly reminded myself that those around me, collectively held much more knowledge than I could ever learn in my lifetime. This was and still is quite intimidating for me about everyone here. Just like I sat in a lecture, mouth open and gawking sometimes at the wonderful thoughts that were being conveyed, on a daily basis my DE family consistently have me mouth open and gawking at the continuous breaking of my own paradigms.
Vblood, if you remain amongst us all and join in on this swapping of knowledge and beliefs, I think I can be confident in saying that you'll find yourself growing for the experience of staying here and sharing your thoughts and beliefs in a respectful manner. Welcome!
Regarding someone speaking for others, my only thought is that I do believe that everyone has a right to hold their beliefs. What one doesn't have the right to, is to stand and represent someone else's beliefs, when not even beginning to understand what those beliefs are. I think it was said well, this is where humility works quite well.
Peace>
Allin> |
_________________
"Burnin out his fuels up here alone,..and I'm so alone,.. I think it's gonna be a long, long time."
My esteemed E.
Allin>
veta morker, varna ljus
Last edited by Allin on Aug 19, 2006 - 02:13 PM; edited 3 times in total
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Vblood
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 19, 2006 - 01:51 PM
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New Member
Joined: Aug 18, 2006
Posts: 16
Status: Offline
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I thank you all for being so patient with me and trying to help me out.
And I thought a lot of it was in fact, health related. You know, iron and all that wonderful stuff. Both my parents are health nuts. I get my meat, veggies, carbohydrates, grains and everything else.I am also regularly seen by a Dr. He says from what he can tell (after blood tests and all) that nothing is wrong with me in that sense.
I know no one is judging me. ( or at least trying not to)
Although Eridani, I am a little disappointed that my word can not be trusted because of my own experiences/beliefs/theories, or what others have done in the past. (RP-ers and the like) As well as my age. I understand that my views my be slightly different than yours. And I respect that. I don't however respect you telling me in your first post to have an open mind, when I did not come here to claim I was correct, I came here to ask advice. I brought up the theory of 'changing' ( as I believe I've mentioned) because it was in my head as a possibility and I thought it might be something worth throwing out there for the sake of theory. I never said I was correct. Ever. I just said what I felt, and excuse me for saying so but I do not believe that's a crime especially in forums that people tell you to be 'open' in.
I honestly do not care if you or anyone else believes what I say. All I'm asking is for YOU all to have an opened mind as well (like so many of you have told me) when I speak and ask questions. I would really like the respect that you would give to anyone else here. I don't want to be judged because I am younger or have had different experiences. I am new here and still trying to get used to it.
Please take your own advice Eridani, have an open mind. Thank you
< I do not want to get off on a bad foot, please understand that. I'm not trying to fight, play games, or tell anyone they're wrong. All I want is to be able to ask questions and get respect for at least trying to understand. Thanks all of you >
~ Vblood
P.S.
As far as the whole 'Late Night television show' things goes. I don't watch very much TV because my home doesn't have cable. The only Vampire movie I've ever watched was: 'Interview with a Vampire' which I wrote off as not accurate. Same thing with the only Vampire book I've ever read (which wasn't intentional, I didn't know it was a Vampire book until I was like, half way through) 'Hawks Harbor' by S.E.Hinton.
I think it's rude and unfair to write me off like that. I'm old enough to be a big girl and understand cinema Vampires from real life ones. ( or anything else like that)
I understand why many might assume such things, I respect that. But come on guys, that's not fair. |
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Cerise
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 19, 2006 - 02:09 PM
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Member
Joined: Feb 18, 2005
Posts: 92
Location: England
Status: Offline
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Hey VBlood and welcome. It takes a great deal of courage for someone to open up about ideas and concerns that are troubling you. Especially difficult when the subject is one that is frequently open to mockery and you air your worries in a public domain.
I understand that the idea of vampyrism is quite an odd one if you've not heard of it before (except for what Hollywood has to say on the subject!). I was struggling with constant energy problems and not knowing what was wrong. I hadn't heard of any of this and this site was recommended by a good friend who thought it might explain what was wrong. He was right.
When I first came here I was directed to the many articles that are held here and they were extraordinarily helpful and explained the whole premise of vampyrism and helped me understand my own situation.
I can understand why people get confused as the term is more identified with literature and movies - Christopher Lee, Lestat, et al.
The one thing that does concern me about what you wrote is when you talk about what local and/or internet vampires telling you that this mysterious shadow must be very old and powerful etc - it seems that they are talking more about myths and legends and this is confusing you.
What we're about is really quite different - straightforward but actually very hard to define - it's really just about the need to replenish energy that we are unable to store. It's like we have a leak and constantly need to top up our supply!
Read the articles and decide for yourself whether they apply to you. Also, perhaps a trip to the doctor to get your iron levels etc checked out - it makes good sense to make sure that you're fit and healthy anyway.
Good luckand remember, you don't have to be vampyric to be welcome here! |
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Sybilla
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 19, 2006 - 02:32 PM
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Administrator
Joined: Apr 04, 2004
Posts: 2743
Location: behind you
Status: Offline
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| Yes, I agree with Cerise. I would get far away from anyone who leads you down the fantasy oriented belief paths of vampyrism. They make it sound much more interesting and romanticised than we, here, do. But I feel it's still pushing the mythological vampire beliefs. |
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"true as the dial to the sun, though it be not shined upon"
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